A New Diagnosis, A Familiar Strength

I had my kidney biopsy done last Monday. Yesterday evening, I received a notification that my pathology results were in. That was some fast work. I was told 5-7 days. I was in the middle of cooking a delicious dinner: lemon ginger chicken with coconut rice and veggies. I was thrilled to be able to cook again after the biopsy. It is the most comforting, grounding activity for me. I sat down to read the pathology results and started crying. Grade 2 renal cell carcinoma with clear cell features. I have kidney cancer after 11+ years after being done with endometrial cancer.

My beloved husband walked in the door and saw me. He was quick to sit down with me and comfort me. He helped me finish cooking dinner and we sat down to eat and had a good chat not about the cancer but to bond and connect which is our daily ritual. 

I had to teach an evening class. I was supposed to model consecutive interpreting for my Deaf interpreter students, but I could not do it. I texted my co-teacher and asked him to come up with another way for them to practice consecutive interpreting. I could not imagine trying to process or interpret information with all the C words floating in my head: cell, clear, carcinoma, and cancer. Gratefully, he came up with a fun practice for them. It was so difficult to keep a straight face during the class. A tear sprang to my eye, then I wiped it away as I continued. I am blessed to be teaching such a great group that make me smile and laugh. Their zest for learning is so evident. Whew... I survived that class. I went upstairs to the bedroom.

I had developed blisters from the bandage they gave me after the biopsy. My husband proceeded to clean the area and apply Neosporin along with new Band Aids. I rolled over in bed and started crying again. My husband sat with me and assured we would get through it together. He implored me to please rest, as I needed it. I could not fall asleep right away. I went ahead and signed up for a private Facebook support group for renal cell carcinoma, as it could be a resource for me. I read more about renal cell carcinoma online. Based on what I could glean, 1.6 cm tumor is a good thing. I emailed my urologist and asked for a sooner appointment or at least some more information as our next appointment is not until June 5th. Somehow, I managed to fall asleep, and it was decent. 

I woke up this morning and the first thought was... I have cancer... AGAIN! I cuddled my dog, then I managed to get out of bed and get started with my day. That's one thing I am a master at... I just keep on going on and continuing to live. So far, it has been a good day having a chance to interact with people in person and virtually with positive vibes. I got a message from my doctor. I am blessed to have a compassionate doctor: 

Good afternoon,

I am currently out of town as well and will be returning after the holiday weekend. 

While the biopsy result did not show a benign pathology we were hoping for, I do want to reassure you that this is being discovered quite early and very safe to wait until our 6/5 appointment to discuss all the different treatment options that exist, all of which are available to you. 

Please enjoy your time off with your husband. Feel free to have him join us for our upcoming appointment if you would like. I look forward to addressing this new diagnosis together. 

Best, 

Zain Abedali, MD   

My life is busy as it is. I don't need cancer on top of it all, but here we go. I am glad that things worked out the way they did and that I had a chance to do the biopsy last Monday. My husband and I are off to Greece tomorrow evening. It will be a good for me to unplug from my commitments and just focus on being in the moment and enjoy the time with my husband. I look forward to the digital detox, reading books, writing, and enjoying the scenery, food, and culture in Greece. It will be good for us to process this as a newly married couple, whatever that might look like. One thing I love about this relationship is how we always laugh together. Last night, we managed to laugh together. This morning before he went off to work, we laughed. I sent him a joking text for him to read later on. Laughter is the best medicine, indeed. 

More updates to come after Greece.